https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/We’re all familiar with this safety reminder at every airport, "If you see something, say something.” It seems simple enough to speak up if you see something strange or concerning. But apparently, it’s not that simple when it comes to speaking up about sexual abuse. Is it that we don’t want to look or that we don’t want to see?https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/if-you-see-something/3/31/2026 12:00:00 AM3114It can be difficult to envision a notion of power that is used to help oneself or others or to create positive and lasting change. This kind of power increases agency, capacity, and transformation.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-power-to-protect/2/25/2026 12:00:00 AM3112Last week,10 women, all survivors of sexual abuse, stood before a world-wide audience with cameras rolling and microphones on to tell their stories of being groomed, manipulated, and sexually abused as girls and young women. Each of these 10 women have traveled their own journey of pain over the past decades, likely never imagining that they would share the humiliating story of being coerced to engage in sexual acts with adults, mostly men, 2, 3, or even 4 times their age. Can we hear what they’re saying? Can we gather a small measure of their courage to listen to their words, allow the picture in our minds of a young girl’s innocence being stolen day by day?https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/survivors-are-speaking-are-we-listening/9/10/2025 12:00:00 AM3088Unrelenting attention has recently been focused on the controversy around releasing files related to the investigation of convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. In the frenzy of all the minute-to-minute attention, it saddens me to know that we are missing the most important part of the story - the real-life stories of Virginia, Danielle, and Maria that deserve our attention – along with the hundreds and hundreds of other young girls* whose lives were irrevocably harmed through the manipulation and prolific sexual abuse of Jeffrey Epstein and others.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-real-story/7/24/2025 12:00:00 AM3079All too often, we have separate ways of seeing mental and physical health. Unlike many physical health issues, mental health difficulties can be hard to see and even harder to acknowledge. Not only are the signs and symptoms of mental difficulties often less evident, the stigma, shame, and embarrassment of struggling with mental health issues often cause those who suffer to hide their pain. It’s hard to prove you’re injured when your wounds don’t bleed.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-ripple-effect-of-mental-health/5/27/2025 12:00:00 AM3054Every day of the year children are sexually abused. Every day of the year, adult survivors struggle to find a way to live a life outside of the long shadow of having been sexually abused in childhood. Likewise, Sexual Assault Awareness is not limited to one month a year – it must be held in our awareness every single day of the year.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/sexual-assault-awareness-every-day-of-the-year/4/30/2025 12:00:00 AM3050It’s hard to believe that something that happens to 1 in 10 children could be hidden. Although it is extremely difficult to get accurate statistics on the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse, a conservative estimate tells us that out of 10 children, at least one will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. This is an upsetting picture, and yes, the reality of sexual abuse, be it in the life of a child, young adult, or an adult is deeply uncomfortable, but it’s a reality we must face if we are to keep children safe.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/hidden-in-plain-sight/4/2/2025 12:00:00 AM3044These are the times when I find comfort in the steady cycle of the natural world reminding me that life is present, deep in the soil, waiting for its time to appear. We know that as we greet the darkness of the winter solstice, the light, albeit nearly imperceptibly, is returning. Read more... Scroll down to subscribehttps://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/nurturing-hope/12/20/2024 12:00:00 AM3033Each April we join with others in recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). This month gives us the opportunity to bring the reality of Sexual Assault out into the open and to recognize that we harm survivors and the broader culture by allowing this great human injury to remain in the shadows.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/being-seen/4/17/2024 12:00:00 AM3010The sexual abuse of children transgresses the boundaries of race, culture, socio-economic status, and gender. While we understand that childhood sexual abuse occurs in all communities, it is important to recognize that the effects of this pervasive trauma are significantly influenced by, among other factors, race, and ethnicity.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/considering-the-needs-of-all-survivors/2/21/2024 12:00:00 AM3001"Who looks outside dreams: who looks inside awakens." Carl Jung In this holiday season I’m not sure the weather outside is frightful (at least not here in the Pacific NW at this moment) but it surely is dark. Once again, we have made our way around the calendar to come upon the longest night of the year, winter solstice. This is a time of waiting for the very gradual return of light. At a seemingly imperceptible pace, we watch for the subtle signs of daylight slowly returning.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/awakening/12/20/2023 12:00:00 AM2990Focusing on sexual assault awareness during the month of April each year is an important step in raising awareness of the prevalence and impact of an issue that affects 1 out of 5 individuals in our communities. As sexual assault doesn’t occur on one month of the year, neither should awareness. Raising awareness every month and every day of the year is necessary if we hope to stem the tide of this all too often hidden tragedy.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/sexual-assault-awareness-must-be-more-than-just-one-month/5/10/2023 12:00:00 AM2967While it is true that no action takes place without awareness, the concept of awareness most often conjures up a kind of passive knowing that does not necessarily indicate action. I would like to propose that, when it comes to an issue as serious as the sexual abuse of our fellow human beings, we consider engaging the kind of awareness that allows us to become unsettled and uncomfortable enough that our awareness might lead to meaningful action. Sexual Assault Awareness month can be the catalyst to stand up and speak up for survivors.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/is-awareness-enough/4/3/2023 12:00:00 AM2958According to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin*, “Love is the most powerful and still most unknown energy in the world.” I would add that it is also possibly the most misunderstood energy in the world. According to Greek philosophers, the emotion of love requires at least six variations to explain its complexity. Certainly, the grand experience of love encompasses much more than the heart emoji shorthand we have come to rely upon.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/what-s-love-got-to-do-with-it/2/14/2023 12:00:00 AM2950Winter solstice is here - the space of stillness as we pass through the longest night of the year. Each year it seems tempting to hurry past this time, a time that invites us to pause and be still, to look past these days and to lean toward the light. Solstice literally means “sun stands still.” We prefer to stay in motion, to look ahead, to plan for the next moment, hour, day, year. And yet each year at this time we are offered this time to pause, to notice, to wonder.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-place-where-the-light-enters-you/12/21/2022 12:00:00 AM2941What may be surprising is the news that those of us who work with trauma have always known – that the experience of trauma has a direct and profound effect on our bodies. We understand that trauma is so much more than a bad memory.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/body-of-evidence/11/8/2022 12:00:00 AM2936April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In so many ways, awareness of the very difficult reality of sexual abuse is a welcome and potent antidote to the secrecy and stigma that surround this issue.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/i-thought-i-was-the-only-one/4/13/2022 12:00:00 AM2898It is the time of the longest night and the shortest day. Each year, as the bright days of summer lead to the shortening days of autumn, we travel closer and closer to this time of the winter solstice. And so, in this darkest time of the year, there is a gift after all. That the steady promise of light always comes, perhaps not quickly enough, but steady and trustworthy all the same. It is a blessed reminder that there truly is life and light below the surface, and it is this time of waiting and stillness that allows the light to return.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-light-always-comes/12/21/2021 12:00:00 AM2885As ready as we all are to move on from this year, I believe that this historically difficult time will leave us all changed in ways we couldn’t have imagined. I do not believe that we will leave 2020 the way we entered it having born witness to the kind of human suffering and fear that has held so many of us in its grip.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/a-little-light-along-the-way/12/30/2020 12:00:00 AM2832As we come to the end of mental health awareness month, it seems fitting to focus on the impact of the coronavirus pandemic on our mental health. Without any doubt, the global pandemic that has affected every human being on our planet will have a significant and lasting effect on our collective and individual mental health. Although there is little we can do to affect the course of the pandemic, I do believe that how we approach our efforts to cope in this incredibly stressful time will have a direct impact on our mental health now and in the future.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/not-the-new-normal/5/26/2020 12:00:00 AM2811#WhyIDidn’tReport was trending on Twitter this morning.There are many reasons why children don’t report. They believe they have done something wrong and might get in trouble. They may believe they should have been able to stop it. Their abuser tells them it’s a secret. They don’t think they will be believed. For me, it was two simple reasons why I didn’t report.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/whyididn-treport-trends-on-twitter/4/17/2020 12:00:00 AM2796If you are like me, you may find yourself forgetting this basic and incredibly useful tool in these days of ratcheting stress. Amid the barrage of information and changes to our daily lives at this time of dealing with the COVID-19 threat, my intention is to offer you some thoughts and helpful tips that may bring some peace in this time.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/living-thoughtfully-in-a-time-of-uncertainty/3/16/2020 12:00:00 AM2793While the latest reports seem to indicate that children aren’t particularly susceptible to the current coronavirus outbreak, that doesn’t mean that children are immune to the ripple effect of this global outbreak.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/tips-for-keeping-kids-safe-in-this-stressful-time/3/11/2020 12:00:00 AM2791As painful as it is to watch, ‘Leaving Neverland,’ offers an incredibly clear picture of the relationship complexity that a sexually abused child often navigates.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/dark-clouds-over-neverland/5/7/2019 12:00:00 AM2299I have long wondered what it is in our human condition that makes it so difficult to accept the overwhelming and destabilizing reality of sexual abuse, especially the sexual abuse of a child?https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/dangerous-denial/2/6/2019 12:00:00 AM2137The holidays are upon us and in the midst of the hustle and bustle of preparations and holiday cheer,https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/keeping-the-holidays-happy/12/11/2018 12:00:00 AM2182In some ways, witnessing Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony on September 27 was a recitation of every survivor’s own experience.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/why-we-should-care/10/9/2018 12:00:00 AM2221On the evening of July 18, 141 amazingly strong women took the stage to accept the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at the 2018 ESPY Awards ceremony.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/just-one/7/30/2018 12:00:00 AM2201It’s that time of the year again. It’s the one month of the year where we turn our focus to a topic that occurs every day of every year.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/why-awareness-matters/4/4/2018 12:00:00 AM2164The story of the trial of sexual predator, Larry Nassar, team doctor for the USA women’s gymnastics team has gained prominent media attention as it absolutely should.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/so-what-is-to-be-done/1/29/2018 12:00:00 AM2165For a moment this year the spotlight shifted to shine the light on the lived reality of so many women and men.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/for-a-moment/12/29/2017 12:00:00 AM2231I’ve heard the question posed as some kind of indictment of the victim: Surely if the allegations were true the victim wouldn’t have waited all these years to speak up.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/speaking-the-truth/11/22/2017 12:00:00 AM2213Just last month, Charleena Lyles, a pregnant mother of four, was shot and killed by Seattle Police investigating a possible robbery in her home.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/begging-for-help/7/12/2017 12:00:00 AM2301Most of us hold a worldview that life should be fair and justice should be served. There is a sort of symmetry and balance to this belief that many of us take for granted.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/injustice-meets-justice/5/5/2017 12:00:00 AM2193It seems like such a simple thing to say. How can it be that hearing just these three words, I believe you,https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/just-three-little-words/4/11/2017 12:00:00 AM2208What a year 2016 was for survivors! Our hearts soared early in the year as Spotlight, a film about cracking open the clergy abuse scandal, won the academy award for best picture.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/keeping-the-light-on/1/19/2017 12:00:00 AM2176I’ll admit that these days I struggle to hold onto these words from Martin Luther King Jr.’s 1964 speech.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-antidote-to-despair/11/16/2016 12:00:00 AM2180Last week in Rio, Kayla Harrison became the first American to win back-to-back gold medals in judo. In 2012, Kayla made history by being the first American to earn a gold medal in judo.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/this-is-what-strength-looks-like/8/19/2016 12:00:00 AM2230The story of Stanford University freshman, Brock Turner’s paltry 6-month jail sentence (3 months of which may be suspended) for sexually assaulting a young woman in January 2015 has made headlines.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-real-life-impact-of-brock-turner-s-crime/6/9/2016 12:00:00 AM2147By definition, all children are vulnerable and dependent on adults to keep them safe. When it comes to the dangers of a child being sexually abused by an adult or an older child, this is a responsibility we dare not ignore.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/why-kids-dont-tell/4/12/2016 12:00:00 AM2249Between the film “Spotlight” winning the best picture Oscar and Lady Gaga’s heartbreakingly beautiful and moving performance of, “Till it happens to You,” the focus was on survivors of sexual abuse—in a strong and honoring way.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/till-it-happens-to-you/3/2/2016 12:00:00 AM2209On January 15, the Seattle Archdiocese released the names of 77 clergy who have, in the words of Archbishop Peter J. Sartain, “admitted, established or determined to be credible,” claims of sexual abuse of a minor made against them.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-sins-of-the-fathers/1/22/2016 12:00:00 AM2210At the top of my 4 year-old granddaughter’s Christmas list this year is a globe.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-promise-of-hope/12/23/2015 12:00:00 AM2304In a nearly impossible to comprehend story, the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) contends that a 13 year old female student bears responsibility for being sexually abused by her male math teacher.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/prepare-to-be-horrified/10/27/2015 12:00:00 AM2291I recently read an article written by a child advocacy professional addressing sexual abuse prevention. This statement caused me to pause.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/dangerous-beliefs/7/22/2015 12:00:00 AM2245It’s been just over a week since Josh Duggar (of the popular reality show, 19 Kids and Counting) publicly admitted to sexually abusing 5 young girls (some of them his sisters) when he was 14 years old.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/critical-lessons-from-the-duggars-fall-from-grace/5/29/2015 12:00:00 AM2269The news reports in these past few weeks have been especially full of human heartache.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-face-of-human-suffering/5/8/2015 12:00:00 AM2305Sexual abuse in childhood is bad for your health. Not only for emotional and mental health, but also for physical health over the entire course of ones lifetime.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/the-profound-impact-of-childhood-abuse-on-adult-health/4/10/2015 12:00:00 AM2263The question is often posed to me: “How can you do the work you do—hearing such painful stories—isn’t it depressing?”https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/imagine-hope/1/27/2015 12:00:00 AM2186Much to the contrary of the sights and sounds of merriment and good cheer that flood our sensibilities during the holidays, this may not be the happiest time of the year for many.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/when-the-holidays-aren-t-gift-wrapped/12/17/2014 12:00:00 AM2216It’s a phrase I’ve heard several times in the past week in connection with the domestic abuse issues related to NFL players coming to light.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/zero-tolerance/9/17/2014 12:00:00 AM2295Oprah’s interview last week with Matthew Sandusky, the adopted son of convicted pedophile Jerry Sandusky, was hard to watch.https://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/a-story-that-s-hard-to-hear-and-hard-to-ignore/7/22/2014 12:00:00 AM2150In 1969, when her autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, was published, Maya Angelou dared to tell of her own sexual abuse at the age of 8 by her mother’s boyfriendhttps://www.roanokeparkcounseling.org/learning-center/blog/speaking-out-with-courage-and-dignity/6/27/2014 12:00:00 AM2292